Of all the fears we have discussed, this is the worst. This is the fear that leads to nervous breakdowns, mental collapse, suicide and even murder. We must learn to control this horrific fear so that it no longer has such a devasting hold over us. This is a difficult one, and we will go slowly. It is very important that you read, understand, and use all the suggestions written here. Not every one will work for you, but if you don't try them, how will you know? If you need to discuss more, or you would like an additional article on this, please —- write to me. This is not theory, friends. I have been in this place, but thankfully only once in my life.
Blind terror has no logic and no reason. It paralyzes you. It makes your knees weak, your hands tremble, your stomach tie in knots, your mouth dry. You cannot think. You cannot function. You may become physically ill. What is it that causes such terror in you? We are not discussing being caught in a sudden situation which could cause you physical harm. That is an instant reaction of the body's defense and survival instincts. That is not the blind terror that creeps into your mind and your heart, and leaves you a quivering mass.
Remember what fear is: AN EMOTIONAL REACTION TO THE POSSIBILITY OF A THING WHICH MAY HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE. Read that again, over and over until you really absorb what it means. The terror you feel is not real. IT IS AN ILLUSION. Your mind is creating this situation. Why?
Also remember our beginning - Thoughts Are Things. Thoughts open the doors to the Universe; the spoken word brings the action called for. Whatever you say following the phrase "I AM", you will get. The "I AM" is the direct connection to the God-spirit. If you say "I am sick and tired", you will be. If you say "I am afraid", you will be. If you say "I am at peace", you will be. If you say "I am safe", you will be. ONLY YOU CAN CHOOSE, and you choose by your thoughts, words and actions. This is the time to examine and analyze your thinking processes, and the way you express those thoughts. Now is the time to put a conscious effort into taking control of your mind. You must do this.
Intense depression often goes hand-in-hand with such terror. You can't do anything, and you don't want to. Everything is too much effort. This is where we begin.
Day One: do one positive thing in the morning, and one positive thing in the afternoon. Get out of bed. Comb your hair. Brush your teeth. Get dressed. Talk to yourself - out loud. "I am doing a positive thing. I am taking control."
Day Two: do two positive things; morning and afternoon. Brush the dog. Dust. Sweep the floor. Talk to yourself while you're doing these things. Call a friend — BUT only talk about something positive and happy. Force yourself to listen to some music you really like.
Continue on through the days adding one positive activity each morning and each afternoon. It doesn't matter what you do. Go for a walk; sit in the back yard; talk to the trees; walk barefoot on the earth. It doesn't matter as long as it is a positive reinforcement for you. If you have a good friend or neighbor, invite them over for a few minutes. Put on a happy face. Be social. Force yourself to pay attention to them and what they say. Do Not Say One Negative Thing. Each time you have a successful day, give yourself a little treat. Something simple. It doesn't matter what, but reward yourself with something that gives you pleasure. A candy bar? Polish your nails?
In the exercise section is a list of positive affirmations that I call "The I Ams". When I was struggling through my own private Hell, I had a friend who would call me every few hours and literally yell these things at me over the phone. I answered the phone because she would call and call until I did. Pretty soon I couldn't stand the ringing, so I would pick it up. She would make me repeat them after her. After a while, I started to hear the words. Then I began to understand them, and finally I began to BELIEVE them. I had won. I had gone through the black hole and come out the other side intact.
Print out the "I Ams", and keep them with you. Read them out loud, slowly, the first thing when you wake up in the morning, in the middle of the day, and the last thing before you go to bed. If there is anything there that makes you uncomfortable, you need to examine why those words bother you. Don't say that phrase until you are at ease with it, and it has meaning for you. If the word "God" is hard for you, then substitute whatever name or expression you normally use.
At any time you feel the terror creeping back, stop — read the "I Ams". During the day, if one pops into your head, get your list and read the complete phrase. You can write your own "I Ams". Keep the phrases simple. Be very careful what you write following the phrase I AM. Make sure it is positive and has healing energy for you. ALWAYS include the word "now" in each phrase. Examine the structure of the phrases I have written for their pattern is intentional.
In your struggle to regain balance in your life, remember that you are not alone. You are loved. You are special. You deserve better. Blessings to you.
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