Before We Begin
You have found your way to these pages because of a feeling in your
spirit that something is not quite right; that life could be better; that
something is missing, or out of kilter. You're absolutely right.
What is it? You...the way you think of yourself....the way you treat
yourself....and the way you allow others to treat you! If Re-Creating
You is to work for you, and if you are sincere about wanting to change
your life, you must first make a serious commitment to begin at the beginning,
Until we can learn to accept ourselves, respect ourselves, and love
ourselves, there is really nothing we can do to improve our lives.
You see, we just don't believe that we "deserve" it. This is a view
of ourselves that has been learned from others. We're born happy
and whole. From there, it's a gradual and insidious tearing down
of our personal spirits. It begins when we're so young we don't know
what's happening. As we grow, it doesn't take long for us to join
in this destructive behavior.
Learning to accept ourselves is the first step. This is very
difficult, and is going to take concentrated effort because we have become
very skilled at beating ourselves up. The change in our view of ourselves
begins with very subtle, and very small adjustments. When you make
a mistake, instead of saying "Boy, was I dumb", try "Boy, that was a dumb
thing to do." See the difference? The focus is shifted away
from "I" to the "thing" we did. OK. So we did a dumb thing.
So? Did the earth shake? We learned what *not* to to, so let's
do it again another way.
Equally important is telling ourselves when we do something that
pleases us. We never do, and we have an equally hard time accepting
praise from others. That must stop as well. No matter what
the task may be, if you do it well and it pleases you, tell yourself that.
"Gee. I really did a good job on that." It's going to take
a lot of practice to learn to praise yourself, but it must be done.
It's part of the subtle changes in the acceptance of the self. It
doesn't matter what it may be: from cooking to sewing to helping someone
out...the "thing" itself doesn't matter. What does matter is that
you acknowledge to yourself something that was well done.
Another equally important phase of self-acceptance is little personal
rewards. Nothing big and elaborate or expensive. Just a little
reward that is just for yourself alone. No one else. Anything
that gives pleasure from a new tie to a walk alone. Just for you.
We are so good at criticizing ourselves that it's become second nature.
It's such a part of our thought process and behavior patterns that it's
going to take a lot of effort to recognize what we're doing. Each
time you find yourself following that same old path, stop. Make a
deliberate effort to examine what you're thinking or saying. Then
find a way to turn it into a positive, or to change the focus away from
the self. Each time you're able to do this, don't forget to
give yourself a reward. As you become more aware and more alert,
you'll find that it's no longer necessary to belittle yourself. You'll
begin to recognize it in others, and no longer allow that to influence
your own opinion of who and what you are.
From the article before, we have seen how thoughts are the things
that create our reality. Only you can control those thoughts.
Only you act on them. When you begin to accept yourself, you'll see
what a truly wonderful person you are. You'll be kinder to yourself.
You'll respect yourself. You're on the way to really "Re-Creating
You". You deserve a Really Big Reward. :D
Re-Creating You Main Page